Wow, it has been a hot minute since I posted here! For those of you that have been following my story for awhile, I went through a pretty bad phase of depression about 4 months ago and haven’t been on since. I’ve been taking some time to collect my thoughts and get it together.
Just to give you a recap on the last few months, I was officially diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and a generalized mood disorder. I’ve known about the depression for quite awhile now – I had my first suicide attempt when I was about 10 and the depression runs in the family. The rest was a little bit of a shock, but I’m rolling with the punches. I started going to a therapist 2 times a month and I’m on an awesome antidepressant. For those of you out there that are on the fence about meds, come over to the dark side. We have happiness here.
Things have been good since then. I realized that my “normal” was an average person’s “depressed” and that my former “happy” was the average person’s neutral. I am able to work through any complex feelings going on in my head. I have not seriously considered suicide in 4 months.
Because of all this (and even before I got help!) I have so much to be thankful for. I did a “25 Days of Thankful” writing project with my 6th and 7th grade English class, and holy moly did I learn a ton about being thankful. Although I did the majority of the days that I talked about how thankful I was for each student individually, I also came up with a list of things I am thankful for without violating FERPA (HIPPA for teachers).
25 Days of Thankful
- I am thankful for my husband, who is kind, caring, loving, and works so hard for us.
- I am thankful for my cat, who has been by my side for 14 years. His zoomies make me laugh, and his snuggles are the best antidote for tears.
- I am thankful for my dog, who has taught me so much about growing from your past, patience, and unconditional love.
- I am thankful for my fish, who give me an escape from my own mind when things get bad in there.
- I am thankful for my family, who have loved and supported me all of the years of my life.
- I am thankful for my students, who give me so much joy, challenge me daily, and make me want to become a better teacher.
- I am thankful for the aides, TSSs, BSCs, and support staff in my classroom. Without their support, this ship would sink.
- I am thankful for my coworkers and friends.
- I am thankful for first responders, who do their very best to keep us safe.
- I am thankful for curbside pickup, so we can keep the grocery store workers safe.
- I am thankful for veterans and all active military members, who keep our country and our world safe.
- I am thankful for my therapist, who gives me the tough love when I need it, the gentle love when I need it, and the best dad jokes in the entire world. You have truly turned my life around.
- I am thankful for my professors, who have put up with me over the last 5 years. The end of my time in the graduate program is coming to an end, but I will never forget what you taught me.
- I am thankful for janitors, cafeteria workers, business office workers, and all who keep our school beautiful.
- I am thankful for my warm house, clean clothes, and food in my refrigerator.
- I am thankful for the beautiful world that I feel like I am experiencing fully for the first time.
- I am thankful for doctors, nurses, nurses’ aides, and all medical professionals who are doing their best to keep us going.
- I am thankful for my health and the ability to continue doing what I love to do.
- I am thankful for the technology that allows me to teach effectively and see my students, even when we are far apart.
- I am thankful for my students being kind, helpful, and respectful to the substitute teachers when I am not there.
- I am thankful for the substitute teachers of the world that are willing to enter my classroom when they know I was sick.
- I am thankful for heat and for the warmth it brings to my home.
- I am thankful for long conversations on the phone with loved ones.
- I am thankful for this beautiful world and everyone in it.
- I am thankful to be here today.