As I sit down at the table for a few minutes after scrubbing my house and washing clothes in preparation for our vacation, I think to myself, “I wish my mom was here to help me.” Even though we live super close, I would like nothing more right now than for you to come bursting through my door and wash dishes with me one more time.
Mom, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of the times that we went on vacation and you cleaned the house top to bottom, watched me and the siblings, packed, and listened to my dad nag. I’m sorry I didn’t help you more. I’m sorry I got upset when you wanted me to clean because “why would we clean a house that we aren’t going to be in for a week?” I get it now. I’m sorry that I fussed at you for making me share a suitcase with my sister. I know now that it was easier on you to pack the car with one less suitcase. I know it was easier for you to have one suitcase in one room and have us packing it together. Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t clean while you packed. I’d give anything to have someone helping me now.
As my husband irritates me when I ask him to help me and he half-asses folding laundry or doing dishes, I think back on the amount of times that dad did the bare minimum to help you and when he did, he did it half-assed and you had to redo it. I’m sorry that I didn’t pick up the slack when dad was slacking off. I’m sorry that I probably made things worse when I whined about having to do stuff when dad was asleep on the couch and dishes were piled up in the sink.
Mom, when you were the ones making the arrangements for the pets, I’m sorry I didn’t help you pack up the bag to board them. I’m sorry I said tearful goodbyes to Toby while you went over the food, treats, toys, bed, and bathroom schedule with the person taking care of him, none of which I contributed to helping you do. As I scribble down notes for you and all of the other people that are taking care of the pets while we were gone, I think about how hard it was for you to leave our pets behind, but it was even harder because you had to take care of all of that stuff yourself. I’m sorry I didn’t help you more.
Mom, while I double and triple check the website of the place we are staying, I think about all of those times that you made itineraries, check amenities and accommodations, boarding passes, schedules, and the works that none of us appreciated. While I scramble to pack bed sheets because my husband didn’t read closely enough to realize our place doesn’t provide bed sheets, I’m sorry I didn’t listen closely when you went down through the list of things we needed to pack. I’m sorry I didn’t help you make the lists.
Mom, I’m sorry I was a spoiled brat and didn’t help you when we were going on vacation and for so many other things in life. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate what you did. I sure know how you feel now. I just hope that I can spend the next part of my life helping you with what you need and be the right-hand daughter you deserved back then. Mom, I’m sorry.